Revisited

Welcome back. I think I'll skip the formalities here, and just get to the point. I don't always have a lot of time, so for the sake of me getting some things done tonight, I'll keep this one concise. 

It's the end of November, 2021 and almost 9 PM here. Our culture today is unravelling. The more "encouragement" I receive from Rex brings me anxiety yet also, motivation. He reminds me of the responsibility we have as Christians to stay constant in our faith and trusting in the Lord. For anyone who may read this and isn't a follower of Jesus, I'm sorry that I could not be more of a channel to you finding the faith. There is a God, and He loves you. The only thing He asks is that you love Him back.

Where I am at today, years later from my first post, is not far from where I was spiritually or [emotionally?]. I can't find the right word there. Yet, if anything has progressed in my character, it is my understanding of the need to preach the Gospel. I am learning that I am an anxious person when it comes to conflict or tension in, not only relationships, but also in conversation that may be a more serious topic. 

Addressing an issue is difficult, though I am continuing to gain experience there. Presenting a request is difficult for me. I am now engaged and will be married in about 11 months. I was very anxious about asking her father for his blessing, about asking her brothers for proposal planning assistance. I typically get anxious about a lot of things at my job. I have a reputation to uphold as a store manager, and I find it difficult... confrontation is difficult. That's it. I'm moving on here.

I am struggling to focus on the end reward that God calls us to in Heaven. I want to do my job, yet I want to share the Gospel, and any time I think of that I just talk myself out pretty quickly. Anyway, my point here is that I am not much further along in my faith journey after several years of light study and prayer. However, I don't want you to be discouraged. I would like you to know, regardless of you status of belief, God has a plan for you and he wants you to grow in your faith. We cannot afford to be stagnant here, especially now in the society we are faced with. Focus on Jesus, on what he has blessed you with and what God's grace has taken you away from. When we begin to understand the grace that God has for us, we begin to change and allow Him to work in us. He is working in me, maybe not as quickly as I expected but I know he has something for me. 

You are in my prayers. May God bless you and reveal the mystery of the Gospel to you. Amen.